Call Us Your Dollar Doula
We Make Profits Procreate
Personality-Rich Copywriting That Can’t Be Ignored
It’s noisy AF out there.
The internet is glutted with slop & copycats.
Luckily, you’ve found THE PENGUINCAT.
Because if you are ready to STAND OUT, the answer isn’t to {cut and paste}.
It’s to hire the best damn copywriting & marketing team on the planet.
(Hyperbole? Maybe. But we’re in the business of bragging.)
Secret Sauce Behind 1400+ Funnels
Over $110 Million Revenue Generated
100% Powered by Referrals + Returns
You can’t spell marketing without FUN
WE DON’T DO BORING
If you want standard ‘boring’ copy…. You’re not in the right place. If you want copy that sounds like that influencer… Nope. Not here. If you want to keep doing the same shiz you’ve been doing since 2021… Sorry, buddy. Try next door.
We’re here to help you innovate, get messy, experiment, take risks, and ultimately – MAKE MONEY.
We Help You BECOME UNFORGETTABLE
WHY WE’RE DIFFERENT
We’re Hollywood pros with decades of experience, who connect deeply with your audience through storytelling, whimsy, humor, and a level of deep relatability that you can’t craft with a prompt.
We incorporate techniques that go well beyond “marketing and sales,” like opening and closing loops, callbacks, and the hero’s journey.
With our powers combined, your customers will enjoy your sales process like we enjoy a whiskey neat.
AKA a lot.
We Honor Your Values
SHAME FREE GUARANTEE
Sales start with treating your audience with respect!
Through deep research –– and a slightly magical intuitive process –– we serve them the right stories and information at the right time to help them make an INFORMED DECISION.
AKA, we make YOU the answer to their problem. (Without all the typical fear or scarcity tactics.)
Marketing with a Spoonful of Sugar
EXPERIENCE THE CURE FOR STAGNANT SALES
The stuff that worked last year on the internet doesn’t work today. OMG.
If sales have stagnated or slumped, or competition feels harder — you’re not alone!
You need a new approach. A brain shake-up. A messaging massage.
Your marketing should be working harder for YOU. So, if you value innovation, creativity, and JOY…
IT’S TIME FOR A NEW AGE IN MARKETING.
AND BASED ON OUR RESULTS…
…THE WORLD IS READY!
900x ROIs
80% clickthrough rates
7-figure launches
6-figure launches with no paid advertising
Viral campaigns for Fortune 500 brands
A Sampling of Our Captivating Copy!
The PenguinCat is a crossbreed of creativity (the penguin) & strategy (the cat) that captures your uniqueness AND brings in the cha-chings.
The Penguin
Everything that is unique about you.
Your brilliance, your charm, your spirit.
The style and flair that no one else has.
The penguin is so wild and so free, it can survive ice-cold temperatures and still be cooing-- also, an incredibly sharp dresser.
THE CAT
The strategic hunter.
Your killer instincts and razor-sharp skills.
Takes up whatever space it wants.
The cat owns its power, keeps its house in order, and always gets its meal. Oh, and don’t be fooled by its domestication... the cat rules its domain.
PICK ONE OF OUR MAGICAL OFFERS:
Your first-class ticket to email & social content that’s rich with character & story.
Need a website that magically magnetizes your ideal clients? Let’s make it happen!
Launching a new offer or product? We have all your conversion copy covered.
Need a one-off project? We can do it all! Sales pages, social ads, emails and more!
PenguinCat is unapologetically NOT niched-down.
So you benefit from our extremely wide view across ALL industries.
B2B + B2C
eCommerce
Digital Products
Courses
Coaching
Consulting
Authors
Creators
Wellness
Fitness
Startups
Fortune 500’s
No matter your niche, product, or audience, we can help you fully embody your messaging and take up some MOTHERF**KIN’ SPACE!
A Lil’ Love for the PenguinCat
As Seen IN
No One Ignores the PenguinCat
