Ready. Set. Launch!

Eager to take over the world, but not sure how to make it happen? Pish-Posh. You’ve got this.

Right now, you have:

A swoon-worthy service, course, or membership you KNOW your peeps will devour like a school of piranhas in an underwater butcher shop.

(That’s… that’s a thing, right?)

The Only Problem:

No one is biting.

A: Maybe you launched already and didn’t hit the conversions you wanted.

Or

B: Maybe you haven’t launched yet because you want to be super-duper sure the RIGHT marketing pieces are in place.

Either way…

Your program is your baby, soul, passion, and purpose all bundled up in gold flake diapers  so MEGA success is kinda the ONLY option, right?

Don’t worry, boo!

We ensure your program launches with all the pomp, circumstance,

and PROFIT it deserves in three easy steps:

READY. SET. LAUNCH.

WE ARE YOUR PERSONAL MISSION CONTROL:

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Our opt-in took a client’s conversion rate from 5% to 79%

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Another client used our sales page and emails to score a 6-figure launch on a $49 product with ZERO paid advertising.

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How about doubling your sales goals halfway through a launch? Yep, our emails rocked this.

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$249K in just 4 days? We checked that off our client’s bucket list.

 As the secret sauce behind 1400+ funnels, let us set you up for success right from the start, or overhaul your marketing machine to give you the desired results.

COMMON FUNNEL MISTAKES WE HELP YOU AVOID:

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Messaging that doesn’t speak deeply to the audience’s experience and desires.

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Zero storytelling infused in the marketing OR the wrong stories at the wrong moments.

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Voice and tone that doesn’t match your true personality (making you attract the wrong people).

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A non-exsistant customer journey.

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Cookie-cutter or ‘funnel hacked’ strategies that don’t convert.

HOW WE SET OURSELVES APART

NO SLEAZY TACTICS

We don’t rely on false scarcity, bro-marketing ‘hack-tics,’ or shame-inducing sleaze. Instead, we get to know YOU and your customers on an exceptionally deep level to meet them where they’re at, speak to them in terms they understand, and SHOW them that YOU are their answer.

We strategically craft an entire customer journey that provides the right stories, mindset shifts, and information to share at the right times.

Your audience will be drawn into your content with our creative use of classic storytelling and comedic strategies, making your marketing materials an absolute delight and pre-selling your programs before you even get on a call!

SCIENCE + INTUITIVE MAGIC

The audience is buying into YOU as much as the solution you provide.

…Which is why you want an experienced marketer with

a filmmaking and screenwriting background (aka us).

Our copy is infused with comedy, creativity, and character. YOUR character. We make sure we match your vibe to attract the right people who want to work WITH YOU.

(Or to use an overused word: we add authenticity to all your marketing efforts.)

There’s some science to this process and a touch of intuitive magic. Trust what our clients say below!

WE TELL A GOOD STORY (YOURS)

While we have a few set packages for you to choose from, consider these as a starting point. We can adapt and adjust these offers to fit your strategies and budget or even help you optimize to create the desired flow. 

We have worked with a wide RANGE of companies across the entire span of the internet. And our unique bird’s eye view means we can think FAR outside the box. Maybe an eCommerce strategy would work well for your coaching business. Or perhaps a fitness coach’s email strategies might fit for a greeting card company…

…Oh, and those BIG business coach funnel strats you heard about? We’ve done ’em ALL. And we stay on top of all the latest trends.

In short, we’ve seen a lot of weird stuff out there. 

But we can make weird WORK for you. 

'FROM SCRATCH' OR 'TO SCALE?' BOTH!

We’ve got you covered, whether that’s diagnosing current funnel issues or creating a NEW package that can fix what’s broken.

Let’s optimize according to what YOU are looking to do.

BEHOLD, OUR IDEAL PENGUINCAT CLIENT...

We are unapologetically not niched down! No matter the industry, we work with you.

More importantly: 

Do you value humor? Are you patient and understanding? Do you treat servers with respect? Do you understand marketing IS experimentation, and if anyone promises you something out of their control, they’re lying?!

Yeah? Then let’s chat!

We’ll take your story, mix it with our rock-solid strategies, sprinkle it with your unique voice, and **BLAM** your out-of-this-world copy is ready to launch sales into orbit!

Yay! :::penguincat dance:::

SET YOUR MISSION PLAN

Take the following as suggestions for your FULLY customized work with us. Maybe your funnel has fewer steps or MORE steps, large or small scope…

 … We’ll figure out the most effective and efficient approach for you!

THE

BIG LAUNCH
Full Launch Funnel  

 

  • 60-minute Story Consultation Call – We’ll get clear on your voice, tone, story, message, and business deets!
  • Strategy Support – If needed, we will provide a customer journey strategy and create the copy to match.
  • Opt-In Development – We’ll make sure we’re meeting your audience at the start of their journey in a way that stops their scroll.
  • Lead Generation Page + Thank You Page – For your epic opt-in that gets them saying YES. 
  • Opt-In Page for Webinar or Free Event+ Thank You Page – Warm up your audience and presell them into your epic offer. 
  • Entire Email Sales Funnel – From lead gen to nurture sequence to sales funnel to final offer — this sequence is all about the swoon + sell (up to 20 emails)
  • 5 social media posts or Facebook ads – Let’s grow your list and retarget the sitting-on-the-fencers. 
  • Long Form Sales Page + TY Page – The kind that could sell self-esteem coaching to Kanye West
  • 2 Rounds of Revisions – Comin’ at you at lightning speed! (But honestly, we usually only need one.)

Complete Funnels Start at: $8200

THE ORBIT OPTIMIZER

Launch to Your Current List

  • 60-minute Story Consultation Call – We’ll get clear on your voice, tone, story, message, and business deets!
  • Strategy Support – If needed, we will provide a customer journey strategy and create the copy to match.
  • Promo/ Handraiser Emails To get your audience jumping-out-of-their-seats excited about your sales event! (up to 5 emails)
  • Pre-Seals Event Page (Webinar, VSL, etc) – An informed buyer makes a dreamy client. Let’s give them all the info they need to say YES!
  • Sales Emails – This sequence is all about the swoon + sell (up to 7 emails)
  • Long Form Sales Page + TY Page – The kind that could sell self-esteem coaching to Kanye West
  • 2 Rounds of Revisions – Comin’ at you at lightning speed! (But honestly, we usually only need one.

Orbit Funnels Start At: $5950

THE

STAR GAZER 
Lead Generation Funnel

  • 60-minute Story Consultation Call – We’ll get clear on your voice, tone, story, message, and business deets!
  • Opt-In Development – We’ll make sure we’re meeting your audience at the start of their journey in a way that stops their scroll.

 

  • Lead Generation Page + Thank You Page – For your epic opt-in that gets them saying YES. 

     

  • Welcome Email Sequence – Introduce yourself to your new audience and draw them into your world in a way that feels oh-so-YOU~

     

  • 5 Social media posts – To reach brand new ideal audiences who NEED to know your name.

  • 2 Rounds of Revisions – Comin’ at you at lightning speed! (But honestly, we usually only need one.)

Lead Generation Starts At: $2500

IMAGINE SOARING YOUR BIZ THROUGH THE SKIES…

–>  Feeling BEYOND confident about your launch or lead generation

–>  Having marketing materials to test, optimize, and reuse as you SCALE your offer

–>  LOCKED IN messaging for use in social media & nurture content for years to come

–>  Equipped with copy that perfectly matches YOU, to attract the clients you vibe with most

–>  With a true copywriting PARTNERSHIP and TEAM who has your back at any time!

Emily McGregor is seriously the best copywriter we’ve ever worked with. (And continue to work with!) She asked us the most perfect questions, listened to our answers, and then composed an authentic, compelling, message that absolutely revolutionized our conversion rates.  She has a beautiful way of capturing our voice and getting to the core of our message in a way that’s fun, friendly, and sounds like us! We love her. She’s so fun to work with and really accommodating. If you’re looking with someone to dress up your website or finesse your authentic voice you could not work with anyone better.

Nadya Melton
mylifestyleacademy.com

As business coaches and marketing professionals who help our clients with copywriting ALL THE TIME- the idea of outsourcing any of our copywriting felt a little absurd initially. At the same time, we knew having launched the same program multiple times that we were getting sort of blind to the process and a little bit burnt-out. We wanted to update our process, but really needed someone who got “us” and our voice. Emily was an absolute delight to work with. She got close to the mark just out of the gate with what we needed and then she took our feedback and got into our heads as to what we were trying to convey incredibly quickly. In 2017, we decided to test launching our online course once, instead of twice. Which doubled our sales goal. We had previously barely sold out at 100 students, and we were able to enroll 173 bootcampers during one launch!

Kelly Higdon + Miranda Palmer
zynnyme.com

This whole experience reawakened my passion for my blog and my products!
I spent the last four months creating products and packages, and then I went to write the sales pages and they fell flat. Then Emily came along, and she just GOT it. She turned my product back into something that I BELIEVE in, that I want to sell and that (after reading this crazy insane awesome copy) people will WANT to buy. This whole experience reawakened my passion for my blog and my products! What Emily delivered was so far above and beyond what I thought was possible.

Jenni Waldrop
blog.fuzzyandbirch.com

Emily really hit home in terms of speaking to my ideal clients in a way that was honest, compelling and best of all HILARIOUS.

I was rebranding and it was extremely important to me that I was really speaking to my ideal customer in a way that reflected the values of my business – supportive, approachable and most of all, being able to laugh about the chaos of parenthood. I knew exactly how I wanted my copy to come across, but I was having trouble putting it into words that felt like me. Emily was able to get right inside the head of my ideal client, despite not being a parent herself. She really hit home in terms of speaking to them in a way that was honest, compelling and best of all HILARIOUS (in a “funny because it’s true” kind of way). I was quite impressed with the whole process. The workflow was very organized and professional – it has actually inspired me to make sure that I provide my clients with the same level of professionalism when purchasing services from me.

Sarah Bester
sarahbester.com

I feel Emily captured my voice well! Emily’s copy was consistently good and fun to read, from beginning to end. I will definitely be working with her again!

Melyssa Griffin
melyssagriffin.com

Her copy is smart and engaging – perfect for Facebook ads.

Her turnaround time is SO fast, which helps me create an amazing experience for my clients. Best of all, my clients and their potential leads, love her work.

Kathleen Cutler
kathleencutler.com

Emily is a fucking beast. I want to print this copy out and roll around on top of it.

Michelle Bobrow
theholisticwallet.com

©2021 PenguinCat Creative

©2021 PenguinCat Creative